This blog post is part of a series exploring the value and benefits of spending time with horses and other animals, including within a therapeutic environment. Previous posts have introduced the series, provided a brief overview and understanding of the research, explored how the presence of animals can make it safe to seek help, what we have in common with horses and how this creates opportunities for us to learn from animals through psychoeducation and as relatable role models
Today’s post is the second part of an exploration of another potential benefit of the human animal bond: Recognising and experiencing the benefits of PLAY
In Part one of this exploration of play we discussed the seven conditions required for play to be ‘true play’ and to serve its evolutionary purpose. We also explored how much of what we call play nowadays does not meet these conditions, including when it’s competitive, ‘educational’ or is tied to an attachment purpose or outcome. Sadly, from an emotional and developmental perspective, much of what we call play is actually work.
So why does this all matter? And how can animals help?
We will explore today what ‘true’ play can do for us in terms of our emotional health, and how animals can help us invite and experience more of this play in our lives, and in the lives of those we care for and work with.
How does play foster our emotional health, development and wellbeing?
Gordon Neufeld of the Neufeld Institute describes two key ways in which play benefits us:
Play is a Greenhouse
My greenhouse, sheltered on the south side of our barn, provides a protective space for my plants to start their development, safe from the harsh realities and unpredictability of our Alberta environment. Starting my plants in this greenhouse greatly increases the likelihood that they will mature into healthy plants which can then survive and produce fruit out in the ‘real’ garden. Similarly, our children need a protective bubble within which to grow emotionally; a place to practice feeling and expressing the wide range of emotions they will need throughout their ‘for real’ lives in order to mature into emotionally healthy individuals.
Play provides that safe place to practice emotion, safe from repercussions, consequences and emotional hurt. For example, when a child plays peek a boo or hide and seek, they are actually playing with their attachment needs, with the emotion of alarm, and with facing separation. They are facing some deep fears, but it is safe – because you always come back and you always find them.
Other examples could be drama providing a place for a shy person to express different parts of themselves. Or playing marbles, provided you are playing for ‘funsies’, and not for ‘keepsies’. We must experience loss and losing in play to prepare us for it in real life, and we need lots of practice, with a wide range of experiences and emotions, when it doesn’t count. Play is the practice ground.
Play is also an Outhouse
Play can also provide a place to activate and discharge emotion without attachment consequences. In fact, if emotions can’t be first explored and expressed in play, they are more likely to be expressed in real life in potentially less functional ways. Examples could include the child who plays at being the king or queen (playing at being important), being the boss or the parent (playing with their alpha instincts) or teddy bears expressing frustration for a child. In adolescence it will likely take a different form, for example a teenager may express their overwhelming, sometimes dark, and often confusing emotions in their writing, art or music.
For adults our ‘play’ can take many forms including expressive arts, non competitive sports, gardening or whatever it is that engages you and invites you back to that place of freedom, expression and invitation.
And again, regardless of our age, the more space that is made for our emotions to be felt and expressed through some form of play, the less they are likely to be expressed disfunctionally in real-life relationships and interactions, and the healthier we – and our relationships – are likely to be.
How Can Animals Help?
While we humans may have gone off course in this area, squeezing out play with our focus on work and outcomes, animals have not. We we can look to our animals for both lessons and opportunities, in three significant ways:
We can accept our animals’ invitations for a play date
Some of my greatest play times are with my animals. Animals naturally fall into the true play conditions; their play is spontaneous, usually not competitive, and focuses on the process and the moment rather than on any outcome. They invite us into a world of play for the sake of play, provided we don’t sabotage things by turning it into a lesson!
So go run with your dog in the park, join your cat on an exploration of the garden or hang out in the pasture with your horses; you may find that you enter ‘horse time’!
We can watch our animals play
Observing someone else at play can be a great start to igniting that same spark within ourselves. It can remind us of the things that matter in life, it can help us to slow down and make space, and it can bring us joy.
So next time your cat starts chasing shadows on the wall or pouncing on the cushions, allow yourself to sit back and enjoy the moment!
We can draw on our relationships with animals to create the seven conditions of play both within a therapy context and in other environments including school and home.
While I believe that play is usually the best answer, there are times when play alone may not be enough: when there has been trauma, when there is no safety to play, when all the play instincts have been lost. At these times a therapeutic approach may be advisable and yet still, play and our animals can provide the way through. Recalling and then ensuring we provide the seven conditions for true play is a great model for counselling, educating, and parenting, and animals can be a great support and guide in providing this model.
How to do this is something we explore in more depth within our professional training workshops in equine and animal assisted therapy at Healing Hooves.
We hope you have enjoyed this exploration of play through animals, and this series, ‘Why Horses’.
We welcome your feedback and questions below!
Play is so very important especially I am finding in times of uncertainty. When I watch our small herd or our larger herd of 12 horses – there is so much play that I often used to miss. One of my absolute favourite pictures that I tend to look back on shows just my feet and the herd of horses in front of me. It was a time when I walked into the field and simply watched them all from afar. So much play and joy to watch!
This was brought home as true again the other day – it may have been smoky, and there is such turbulence in the world, and yet my oldest and youngest gelding in the herd played and pranced happily around the pasture…I simply just sat and watched and before I knew it, I was grinning too!
This subject has been such an excellent reminder of what is truly important. Tomorrow I think I will simply go out to watch my horse play with his herd mates 🙂
Love this article, thanks for sharing!
I like you mentioned that play may not, sometimes, be enough (like times of trauma, issues of safety). Certainly, with EFW, just to watch the animals at play will be a privilege for those who come in touch with the program, that allows them to release by just witnessing (animals) in freedom, expressing their joy. For those suffering, just watching such joy may remind them there’s hope – a future with love.
Two thumbs up! Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time!
My animals provide me with endless opportunities for play. This is another way that being with them can liberate us and improve our wellbeing:)
The dogs and horses are a great place to engage in some play time. Watching the horses in the spring time when they finally get out on grass, or the dogs when you have a ball in your hand. I also find when I go to the lake and spend a few days out there by the water, it certainly brings back play. Splashing in the water, so simple but so much fun!!
I liked the comment about play as opportunity to practice emotional discharge in a safe environment. I have often thought of play as a child’s work but I will think differently about is now to not confuse play with work/outcomes.
Hi Nanette – yes, we have a whole section on play in the training where we explore this more!
This article really spoke to me about the importance of taking time to be in the moment.
“Play is a greenhouse” is a really intriguing concept. Thinking of peek a boo as experimenting with attachment needs is so interesting, and everyone does it. Currently that is my kitten’s favourite game, well at least the stalking version of peek a boo. Nonetheless, it is quite enjoyable letting him sneak up on me.
yes! Kittens playing is a great example of this and they do it so naturally
Doing liberty work I feel is a great play for humans and horses !
This article gives me hope that we can help find the answers through play. I like the idea of watching animals play to inspire us to play and makes me think of my husband playing with a cat and our grandchildren. His instinct to play is much stronger than mine so I think it will also be helpful to look to him for inspiration.
One of my favorite things to do is watch the horses buck and play after they are turned out from the barn in the morning.
me too Melanie! Here’s a link to our ponies doing that exact same thing a week or so ago! https://business.facebook.com/healinghoovescanada/videos/439365703944751/
I really like the greenhouse/outhouse – a safe place to practice emotions/a place to activate and discharge emotions without consequences. This is a great article Sue, thank you!
you are welcome Kim – yes, I love the greenhouse/ outhouse metaphor too – credit for this goes to Gordon Neufeld!
“Play provides that safe place to practice emotion, safe from repercussions, consequences and emotional hurt.” I find this really interesting. I have never really thought of play in this way but I think it is very true. When I watch my son play, I can see this and see him working through various emotions.
I remember those days well Anne! It is amazing how naturally play can arise when we are able to get the context and environment right!
Love everyone’s comments and reflections. Love the greenhouse/outhouse perspective.
I am really trying my best to save time for play; letting if occur organically so it transpires as true play.
I can almost 100% guarantee the focus on the moment and the spontaneity part when I enter the goat pen!
It is actually impossible to feel any stress or diverted anger or life pressures in their environment.
It is a free ticket to relieving stress and an equation that equals a smile solution.
yes! I can totally see lots of play happening with goats!
I love to play! both with my animals and without…. watching my animals play brings me immense joy and often laughter. I play hide’n seek with the puppies and they love it! I realize in adulthood that my affinity for play is what likely contributed the most to my resilience factor
The kitten in the story pic is SO adorable!
Sounds wonderful Aprille! I’ve played hide n’ seek with my border collie too. She’ll wait while I go hide and then is so excited when she finds me! During focus training we explore how play can be a safe way to start to safely experience and resolve some low level alarm – and hide n seek (or even peek a boo) is a wonderful example of this. Provided you always come back and always find the person – otherwise the alarm becomes too real and it’s no longer play anymore!
I have been witness to many of my children acquaintances fall ‘out of love’ with things once their parents, teachers, or coaches get involved in making them better at it. My children have also taught me this important boundary many times over, when I have crossed it! As they have grown, they have approached me and asked for more support to build skills in areas of their interest (eg. horse riding, vaulting, singing, dance, etc…). I know that this is their own and a process of emergence and that is when I step in to provide the resources, support and safe place to lean in to when challenges are faced. Each day brings new opportunities to see this boundary for myself (self-compassion) and with my children, clients, etc….
yes – when our “want to’s” become our “have to’s” (or more about someone else’s “want to’s”) somehow we don’t want to anymore!
The key is making sure that our agenda does not get in the way of, overshadow or otherwise disengage our child’s or client’s agenda.
Yes, animals are so amazing at helping us remember how to play. That is just one of the reason why they are so good for us.
I like how play is practice and a safe place for expressing emotions. I think it is important to accept our animals invitations to play and get outside and spend time with them.
Great article! Does anyone ever experience times where something starts out as play, but then we try to justify it by making it goal-oriented? I am going to be keeping chickens and bees soon. At first, this was simply for the joy of the experience. But, I sometimes find myself getting sidetracked by thoughts such as, “Will the chickens produce enough eggs/bees produce enough honey to offset the cost, time, and effort?” Thankfully, I’ve caught myself and been able to remind myself that this isn’t the goal. The goal is to have fun, to have a new experience, to play!
these are great reminders and check ins that I think we all need at times to offset all of the other conditioning we’ve had!
I love the outhouse and greenhouse effect and the tone that play is the natural offset to burnout. Looking forward to introducing more play into my day.
Love this: “…provided we don’t sabotage things by turning it into a lesson!”
This might become my new daily intention until it becomes natural to me:
“Don’t sabotage play by turning it into a lesson”
Oops… Sorry I didn’t mean to post this as a reply.
The greenhouse and outhouse are really good examples here, and love how children naturally play and then grow and develop in that safety net where you can mess up and it doesn’t matter.
Can totally relate to part about encouraging our children to do something, thinking we are giving them opportunities and help, and then without meaning to we turn it into work for them. There is a fine line between helping and ruining all the joy of play.
I agree Donna – that line can be like a tightrope! Good thing is that we are allowed to make mistakes here and not get it perfect!
Animals and kids are so wonderful to watch and engage in play with!!
Love this: “…provided we don’t sabotage things by turning it into a lesson!”
This might become my new daily intention until it becomes natural to me:
“Don’t sabotage play by turning it into a lesson”
I hear you Jill – this is one I had to learn (many times) through experience, and still don’t always get it right!
When my son was younger and I too was an “overeager mom”, I know I sabotaged many moments of true play by turning them into lessons. However, as I get older, I am discovering that I find great pleasure in watching my now teenage son play without interference. And watching him play with our dogs or horses is even better! The joy seems infectious and can be such good medicine after a hard day.
The greenhouse and outhouse are really good examples here, and love how children naturally play and then grow and develop in that safety net where you can mess up and it doesn’t matter.
Can totally relate to part about encouraging our children to do something, thinking we are giving them opportunities and help, and then without meaning to we turn it into work for them. There is a fine line between helping and ruining all the joy of play.
Such an important reminder! Love the greenhouse!
In the education system, we are so focused on making play into learning opportunities, and making everything educational that we tend to forget the reason we need to have natural and unstructured play. I believe the best times as a parent and teacher are the times when children just naturally engage in their own interests and imagination. We actually see some of their interests and learned behaviours. Just observing them gives you an idea of where they sit in their development, community and interest.