This blog post is part of a series exploring the value and benefits of spending time with horses and other animals, including within a therapeutic environment. Previous posts have introduced the series, provided a brief overview and understanding of the research, have explored how the presence of animals can make it safe to seek help, and discussed what we have in common with horses.
Today’s post applies our understanding of our shared biology, to how we can look to horses and other animals for life lessons.
Whether we are engaging in an animal assisted therapy program or simply observing our own four legged friends, animals can be powerful role models with much to teach us. But why does this potential exist and how can we best harness it?
Perhaps it comes down to the fact that horses – and many other animals – are:
Close enough to be relatable, yet distinct enough to show us some different options.
The best way to illustrate this is perhaps through a real-life example, in this case a session from early on in my equine therapy career.
My client that day was ‘Anna’, a young Mom struggling with social anxiety and depression. Anna was constantly critiquing herself, especially after social interactions, and always fell short of her own impossibly high standards. The result was her increasing reluctance to interact with people in any environment, which impacted many aspects of her life.
During her first few sessions Anna was drawn to our herd leader, an Arabian gelding called Skye. Anna observed the wary look in Skye’s eye and his tendency to notice everything that happened in his environment. “That’s just like me at work,” Anna noted as we watched the herd across the fence. Anna soon discovered many other characteristics she and Skye shared, including heightened sensitivity and a strong desire to take care of their family.
During this particular session we brought Skye and another horse into the arena. Instead of tying either horse up we unclipped both their lead ropes and I guided Anna to the other side of the fence. We watched Skye trot around the arena, head high in the air, while his companion fell asleep by the gate.
Anna looked up at me, the concern evident in her eyes not unlike that in Skye’s, “Is he OK?”
I watched Skye pause for a moment and stare at the rest of the horses grazing in the nearby paddock. “It’s hard for Skye to be away from his herd, and running is his way of releasing the emotion that’s coming up for him”. As I spoke, Skye resumed his circuit of the arena and pooped, “that’s also something horses do when they’re scared,” I added with a smile.
Before long Skye returned to the gate to join his equine and human companions. Head a little lower now, he started to lick and chew – which I explained to Anna was another form of emotional release – and within moments his body language resembled that of the other horse: head comfortably down, back leg resting on its toe, and bottom lip droopy.
A horse at rest.
Watching Skye, Anna let out the breath neither she nor I had noticed she had been holding. “I wish I could be more like Skye,” she whispered, gently rubbing his neck as his eyelids started to close. “He knew just what he needed to do with those feelings, and he went right ahead and did it.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “I don’t think it occurred to Skye to do anything else.”
Anna giggled, “I don’t think he even worried what we thought of him when he pooped.”
I smiled again. Within a few simple moments Skye had provided Anna with all she needed to start making some significant changes in how she approached life; to find the insight and courage to start living – and expressing – in a more emotionally honest way.
How did this happen?
For Anna to see and trust Skye as a role model she needed first to be able to relate to him; recognising all they had in common, including a heightened sensitivity which often led to uncomfortable emotions, facilitated this.
Anna also knew that Skye frequently felt, and sometimes behaved, as she did, and from this she perceived that he understood what life could be like for her.
That was empathy.
Anna then needed to witness Skye responding to their shared emotion in a way which differed from what she would typically do. Anna watched as Skye experienced, felt, processed and released his alarm – safely and respectfully – but without concern for what we or anyone else may think of him. Unlike Anna, or most other humans for that matter, Skye allowed the emotion to move through him, without clogging the process up with unnecessary judgement and over analysis. In this he invited Anna to consider a different way of doing things; a possibility of allowing herself to feel and release her emotions without the crippling self analysis and critique she usually subjected herself to.
This all needed to be delivered in a way which was non judgmental and congruent, conditions which had been established between Anna and Skye during their earlier interactions, and which we explore as frequently being provided by animals in an earlier post.
The end result?
This experience presented an opportunity for Anna to witness and perceive a different, healthier response to emotions which she experienced in her own life, within the context of an emotionally safe relationship which she trusted to be both genuine and unconditional. And from there, an invitation was provided for Anna to apply this possible new way of being within her own life and relationships.
Witnessing all of the above unfold, and become further integrated and applied in subsequent sessions, was a great honour. It also served, and continues to serve, as a valuable reminder for myself as facilitator: of why I chose, and continue to choose, to build my practice and life with animals firmly as a central part.
You can find more examples of animals as relatable role models in the blog post: “Is no fear a good thing?”
Our next article in this series will look at another benefit of recognising all we share with horses: how we can draw upon these similarities, and the differences, within a psycho education animal assisted therapy approach.
What a great story! I’m glad Anna was able to make significant changes in her life by seeing a different perspective with the help of Skye.
The impact of our four legged friends can be amazing. All the lessons to learn
Great article; I’m totally hooked!
For me, reading this article reminds me that what I may get out of a horse interaction can be completely different role model or modelling than what another person may see. And I think it is so important (at least for me) to recognize this can change from person to person. I have found that it also changes depend on whether I am around or not. For example, my husband can interact with one of our horses completely differently without me standing there watching and in term this horses reacts differently – they both come away with a different perspective than me standing there. Obviously, it is not always an option in terms of safety to do this with clients however, I think it is important to consider this and how it can impact interactions.
Wonderful story! ❤️
I’m excited to see a story like ‘Anna’s’ unfold. Seeing that opening would truly be a priviage.
It’s pretty neat how often horses mirror us in our physical responses and that we can relate to them with our perceptions of their personalities and interactions in their environment.
Wonderful story, thanks for sharing!
Great story! Skye being the relatable role model and Anna able to witness the series of events and having an opportunity to observe different/healthy response is very powerful.
I was really struck by the way Anna had to see herself in Skye, and then see another version of herself being made possible by him. Really impactful. I think it is extremely hard for a person to generate such an immediate and revelatory experience for a client, and it certainly highlights exactly how important and valuable it can be to partner with animals in a therapy or personal growth setting. Thank you for sharing this story.
This is a very strong story with messages for both client and counsellor.
I think many of us have had the experience that regardless of what we may have suggested or attempted to bring forth with our clients, (or friends and family members:) we don’t seem to be really heard or taken up on our offers. Sometimes we see that same person really accept an invitation to consider a very similar notion from someone else or through an experience. It is like they are able to do this because of timing or perhaps it’s the trust they feel with certain people/animals or in certain situations and something magically clicks and they are able to take it and find ways to move somewhere they prefer. It is such a lovely thing to watch. After the reading in the course, I am left with how this seemingly magically process might be invited by some of the ideas you write about. Firstly, by working with horses we can be “one-step remove” and offer the horse as a safe place with no agenda. Secondly, I really value how you have stressed it seems much more useful if the realization comes from the client. These two elements seem to have been key in your discussion above.
Thanks Shari – yes, you have named two aspects that I see as so powerful and critical in this work, especially for people who may have experienced being pushed in other environments or not allowed the time and space I believe we all need.
Shari I appreciate how you interpreted the article from the attachment root of sameness and the invitation that lends to being open to perceive a different, healthier response.
After reading this story it just reemphasized to me the importance of space for both the client and the horse. How not creating this space definitely would have an impact on the size of the invitation. I think back to the program I was working on and how creating a structure for the students perhaps did not grant them the space to just be and accept the invitation. Learning more about the attachment theories, and the invitation helps me to better understand your advice and direction given thank-you Sue.
You are welcome Trish! Yes, this is an aspect of the approach that is not often recognised at the start, especially when there is pressure and expectation from all around to show and do something ‘exciting’ or ‘dramatic’. I know that earlier days in my practice I often didn’t do the best job of creating and allowing as much space as was needed. I think it’s something we are more able to do as we get more comfortable in this work and start to see the benefits of allowing space. Wonderful that you are recognising this so early on in the process!
Beautiful that she was given the space to see what she needed to see from the way Skye dealt with the situation.
Hello all,
What a moving account of how spaciousness can permit the conditions for clients to sense into choice and to tap into their inner sense of knowing. It is a daily reminder to uphold patience and to hold the hope that is needed for clients to get curious of their capacity to heal.
Warmly,
Kim
I’m curious about the choice to unclip the horses and just observe their behaviour. This obviously lead to some pretty powerful insight. Is this something you do regularly Sue? Or did you have an instinct that would be beneficial?
Hi Chloe
I will sometimes do this for safety reasons to allow the horse some space, and I do quite often allow a horse to be loose when first brought into the arena so they can check it out themselves and get comfortable in the space, with the client safely on the other side of the fence/ gate. And yes – it can make for some great observation opportunities!
Such a powerful story Sue, thank you for sharing!